Get Me Through

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

I Would Not Hold Them from You

Today, this guy at work was trying to convince me that all releigions are really allegories for the zodiac.

Nothing gets me as hyped up about Christianity as when someone starts trying to prove that it's all nothing more than a good set of stories to illustrate the human plight. It's kind of like when someone picks on your younger sibling. You can pick on your younger sibling all you want, but heaven help anyone else who tries to do so.

Lately, I find it almost laughable. Kind of like if my younger sibling was the size of a tree and three times as strong and the nerdy kid with asthma tried to threaten my sibling with a toothpick. It's so pathetic that it's funny.

The thing about it is that I have had too many encounters with "something," and I believe it's God. I don't care what anybody else believes. Far be it from me to try to tell you what truth is for you, but I can certainly tell you what truth is for me. The truth is that when I most need someone, there is Someone there. I can't see Him. I can't touch Him. I can certainly argue with Him, but lately, when I have been in grave need, He's been there. He's enveloped my shoulders. It's been as near as something can be to touching you without actually touching you. Can an allegory for the zodiac do that? It's ludicrous to think so. It's more ludicrous than the fact that I believe at all.

My theme song lately has been Jack Johnson's "No Other Way," which goes "Just go to sleep and know that if I knew all the answers I would not hold them from you." The reason this has been my theme song is not because I want to sing it at other people. It's because so often I have wanted other people to give me the answers, particularly to the question of death. I have often been angry at others because they would not solve things for me when the truth is that they don't know the solution, either. So, I tell myself that that is what they would tell me if they knew I was angry. If they knew all the answers, they wouldn't hold them from me. Why would anyone do that? Particularly a friend? They wouldn't. I wouldn't. It's been a big comfort to me this time around.

So there you have it. No one has all the answers. The most we can ever get out of life is a search, but I believe that if you search, you will find the truth. That's a promise of my religion. "Seek and ye shall find." So, I have to believe that my real goal in life, as a Christian, is not to tell people what to believe but to get people asking the right kinds of questions. Then you'll find the answers that are right for you, and it's out of my hands (which it is anyway).

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Irrational

Sometimes I hate God because so many assholes are walking around breathing my air while people I loved and cared about are dead. I think that if God were being fair, one asshole should have to go away (not neccessarily die, but go away from me) for every person I have to lose. Then I could at least feel glad about something.